Welcome to the 2013 edition of Astro Oscars, where we let the stars pick the stars who win!

That’s right, we don’t have to endlessly peruse statistics, corner Academy members, make our own guesses or even trust Harvey Weinstein’s considerable clout: no, the very patterns of the heavens will tell us the winners.

As proof, last year we were 7 for 7 in our predictions, including Meryl Streep’s surprise upset of Viola Davis for Best Actress, which occurred precisely as stated in these pages–standing ovation, teary speech and all. How did we know it was Meryl redux? Neptune trine her Sun, Uranus trine her Ascendant. That’s astro-speak for: “THE ASTROLOGY SAID SO!”

We all live within a matrix of greater energies, cyclical cosmic patterns which begin at the moment of birth and continue throughout our lives. Good fortune and honors tend to occur when patterns are harmonious, as they were in Meryl’s astrological chart in 2012. Despite Viola Davis’s status as the favorite in the race, her energetic aspects were not as favorable, and those things are clear to the professional astrologer. So relax and come along for the ride as we see once more what the stars above are saying!

First we’ll look at the chart for the ceremony itself, set for Sunday, February 24th in Hollywood, CA. The official start, according to the Academy for Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, is 5:30PM pm PST, which corresponds to the actual start of the telecast. This is the astrological chart for that moment:

We first notice that most of the planets are on the right, or western side of the chart, indicating that cooperative themes will be spotlighted. The solitary hero is out of luck this year. Indeed, the Sun, representing the ceremony’s sense of identity, is in the 7^th House, associated with partnerships. While this is the case every year, with the ceremony beginning just before sunset, this year the Sun has some planetary company in this sector. This says that relationship movies and conflictual “us vs. them” themes have a central place in this year’s show.

The ceremony used to be held in late March, but was moved up in order to shorten the seemingly interminable Oscar campaigns. With the shift to late February, the Oscars’ Sun-sign changed from Aries to Pisces—fire to water. The celebs may shiver more in their skimpy gowns, but the compensation is that the energy of the show seems more in alignment with old-time glamour and the “magic” of Hollywood.

Pisces, after all, is a sign associated with the imagination. Its ruling planet is Neptune, which in this year’s chart is transiting near the Sun (as it will be for the next three years or so) and is also in its own sign. Neptune is associated with creativity, spirituality, dreams and glamour. Fantasy films, or those with a lighter touch, do well under this aspect, as was evidenced last year with “The Artist” winning Best Picture under a frothy planetary alignment.

This year’s chart has that same (often very confusing but creative) Neptune-Sun aspect, but here it also straddles the 7^th House cusp—the point given in astrology to marriage and relationships, war and peace, and direct dealings with others. This seems to correlate with several movies nominated, such as Lincoln, Silver Linings Playbook, and Amour.

And the Moon, a few hours from being full, has just risen and inhabits the 12^th House, which in astrology is given to secrets, clandestine activities, caregiving, suffering, confinement and subconscious habit patterns. Let’s see—that describes, wholly or in part, Argo, Zero Dark Thirty, Life of Pi, Beasts of the Southern Wild, Les Miserables and Django Unchained. And the Moon’s cruising through late Leo, a sign associated with leadership—also a theme this year. It’s no accident that, under these energies, serious dramas take the limelight now rather than lightweight fare. Expect one of them to win Best Picture.

This year’s ceremony takes place under a Mercury Retrograde, so glitches and misspoken speeches may be part of the milieu. Jupiter, planet of expansion and good fortune, sits prominently in the 10^th House of social status and reputation. Jupiter also rules ethics and the law, and several films concerned with legal issues were nominated this year…Lincoln, Argo, Zero Dark Thirty, Django, Les Miz…you get the picture.

Saturn, planet of hard work, frustrations and accomplishment through sustained effort, sits in the 3^rd House of communications. Make sure you have a pillow handy, because this says the ceremony will be as long as ever. Saturn also rules history, and several hard-hitting historical dramas made the cut. Mercury (communications) is also hanging out with Mars (god of war), in the 7^th House of partnerships. The word “gritty” comes to mind. Hearts-and-flowers films are a bit out of place this year.

Now let’s look at the birth chart of the host, Seth MacFarlane: